


Redecoration

by WillowGrove



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Based on a Tumblr Post, Butt Plugs, Come Shot, Dialogue-Only, Episode: s04e03 The Final Problem, M/M, New 221B, Redecoration, Shooting Guns, Top Sherlock, christening new rooms (with sex), fucking on a sofa, shooting come, smiley face gun shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 21:04:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13419624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WillowGrove/pseuds/WillowGrove
Summary: “Then give me a smaller target, John.”A Tumblr post inspired dialogue ficlet, where John doubts Sherlock's gun shooting abilities and Sherlock silences him (or perhaps makes him extremely loud) by flaunting his other shooting abilities. Smiley faces and all kinds of shots on the redecorated wall of 221B.





	Redecoration

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this Tumblr gif set](https://willowgrovecreates.tumblr.com/post/155924359912/camillo1978-aconsultingdetective-scenes-of), where Sherlock shoots the new smiley face.

“Sherlock! I made tea, come and sit down, we've been at this all day.”

“Mmm, smells much better than the wallpaper glue.”

“Christ! I know you love me, but try not to let the flattery go to my head!” 

“I think the wallpapering has gone to your head...”

“Don't you like what we've done here then?”

“I like the smiley face.”

“Thought you would.”

“It's a bit too much to the left, though.”

“No it isn't, you berk. And you still managed to hit it just fine so...”

“That's just because I'm a killer shot, John.”

“That's one fucking big target. Proves nothing.” 

“Oh really?”

“It's a large smiley, Sherlock, and you were standing very close. Ouch, what are you doing...?” 

“Then give me a smaller target, John.”

“Whatever do you mean? Get off, we can't both fit... Stop purring!”

“Oh, I don't know, John. Something round and, hmm, small... Something I can shoot for...”

“Christ, Sherlock, can you...” 

“Come on, John! We've got to christen the room.”

“We already did that, Sherlock! Twice!" 

“The new wall then.”

“We don't need to christen every single... Aaah! Fuck! That's it, this chair is not up to par. We need a new one.” 

“That I'm in full agreement with. Let's move to the sofa.” 

“We already christened the sofa, Sherlock.”

“But we've moved it since, it's against the wall now.” 

“You're incorrigible, has anyone ever told you that?”

“Yes. You have. Repeatedly. Now, let me fuck you against the wall.” 

“Oh god, yes!”

“Let me just close the door.”

“What? You? I thought you didn't care what Mrs. Hudson 'or anybody else' thinks?”

“I don't. But her peaking through the gap in the door is making her hip ache.”

“And? You think her knees will be any better when she needs to kneel to peak through the keyhole?” 

“I left a pillow for her on the landing.” 

“You... cock!”

“Ooh, yes! Now, turn around, you know I'm more efficient when I prepare you from behind.” 

“So sure of yourself are you now?” 

“Yes, John, I am. Now, turn around and flaunt your round little target for me to aim at.” 

“All right, all right! But just so we're clear, that was a really bad joke.” 

“It was a great... John! You – when did you do this?” 

“Ah, god, stop twisting it if you want me still hard when you fuck me, I've been walking around with this in my arse for hours now.” 

“You... you prepared yourself for me... But how did you know?” 

“Please, Sherlock, I saw your face after you shot the smiley, I know perfectly well what you were thinking of, now get on with it!” 

“John, you sly little... Lean against the wall.”

"Already leaning." 

"God, John, your butt. John, did I ever tell you how perfect you are? Kneeling like this on the sofa, leaning against our new wall, under our new smiley face, your hole all prepared and gaping for me...” 

“Aaahhh, you could have warned me before pulling it out though... Ooh god, please!” 

“You complaining I'm not hitting the right spot now, John?” 

“N-no, oh god, Sherlock, I was serious about not lasting, careful with your fing... eeers!”

“Oh, don't you pull your balls now, John, I want you desperate!” 

“I am desperate, Sherlock! I've been desperate ever since you... ah... cocked that gun. I'm gonna come any second with your fingers, oh GOD, on my, ooohhh... prostate... Please, Sherlock!" 

“I'll stop if you admit I'm a crack shot.” 

“You're a crack shot, Sherlock, please, mercy! I want to come with you inside me. Please.”

“I think that can be arranged. Hold tight!”

“Oh fucking god, Sherlock, gnnnhhh, just, take it slow, aaaahh, or not, fast is good... too... oh fuck, you're so... oh god, Sherlock!” 

“You know, the way you are... now, hard and jutting up and leaning over... when you come, you'll be spilling all over the new wallpaper.”

“Gnnnhhh, I thought... that was... the point.” 

“It was mine.” 

“Actually, I don't fucking care, just fuck me, Sherlock, harder please, tilt a little, just a little, I need to...”

“Like this?” 

“AAAAAAH!” 

“I'm guessing that's a... ye... yes!” 

“Fucking hell it's a yes, oh god, Sherlock, I'm gonna, I'm gonna... come... soon, oh god!” 

“That's it John, you're gonna come all over the... wall and you're gonna wail like a banshee while you're... doing it like you always do.” 

“Sher... Sher... oh, I... Oh fuck, please, oh...” 

“John John John John John...” 

“Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck, I'm close, Sherl... oh, I...ah...” 

“That's it, John! Come for me, come for me, yes, scream your heart out, oh fucking hell, John, you did it, you, oh, fuck, JOHN!" 

 

... 

 

“Sherlock.” 

“Mmmmffh.” 

“Sherlock, move over, I can't feel my arm.” 

“Mmmh? Oh, I... sorry.” 

“Thanks. Ouch.” 

“John. Are you all right?” 

“Am I all right? I've just had my brains fucked out by my gorgeous lover. Why would I not be all right?”

“Ok, ok, I'm just. Here, let me massage your arm.” 

“It's ok, I... Oh, god, that feels good! Please don't stop.” 

“Getting the blood flow back?” 

“Eventually.” 

“I didn't mean your cock, John. Although...” 

“Nope, we're not gonna christen anything else in this flat tonight. Nor anywhere else, Sherlock. And stop pouting. I'm an old man. I'm not gonna be able to fuck like a rabbit every day, you know.”

“I don't know, John. You did like it when I bit your big ears just now.”

“Fuck you, Sherlock!” 

“Oh, I will! Ouch! But I think your cock has earned it's respite tonight, don't you think?” 

“What do you mean? What are you pointing at...? Oh! Oh!”

“I was hoping it might happen, but, John, I certainly have to concede your superior shooting ability.”

“Really?”

“You certainly did a number on that wall.” 

“Well...”

“Well?”

“...the wall had it coming.” 

 

Even though the door to the landing is firmly shut, they can hear a small delighted chuckle. A little later careful steps tap downstairs, successfully avoiding all the creaks in the old stairs.

 

“You know what, John?”

“What?”

“I actually put _two_ bullets in the wall today.”


End file.
